So this week I have the opportunity to find out whether this little one is a boy or a girl. This is it. If I don't find out at this ultrasound appointment, I won't be able to find out until birth. I won't have any more scheduled ultrasounds after this one, so here's my chance (if I so choose).
I'm pretty sure Mark doesn't want to know. Well, he's pretty easy actually. If I wanted to find out, he'd just go along. If I didn't, he's okay with that as well. He sorta just lets me do what I want to do, and goes along with my choices (he's that sort).
Elijah is just dying to find out, and it's no secret that he wants a brother. He tells everyone that he wants a little brother, I mean, what five year old boy would want a sister? The age gap is so big between the two, I'm just assuming that the only shot these two have at being close is if I'm having a boy. I could be wrong, though.
Mark wants a girl. He actually wanted a girl the first time around. I know his fingers are crossed for one, just like the rest of my family who wants a girl to "even things out". My sister has one son (her one and only child), and my brother probably won't have children. So this leaves ME, the one and only hope that my parents have at having a grand-daughter.
I want a daughter eventually, but honestly am just a teeny bit hoping that this one is a boy, for Elijah. I know (actually I pray) that this will not be our last child, so there's still another chance for a girl if this one is a boy. But this time around, I'm secretly keeping my fingers crossed for a boy. But if it's a girl, that's wonderful too, because as I said before I do eventually want to have a daughter.
My mother asked me today if I would regret finding out early whether this was a boy or a girl. I think that a part of me would wish we had waited, to experience the whole surprise at birth. But then again, to know ahead of time has so many advantages, too. Like for buying clothes, choosing a name and for bonding. When I was pregnant with Elijah, the ultrasound technician "accidentally" told me that I was expecting a boy, when I for sure didn't want to find out until birth. But once I knew, I could instantly bond with him. He just felt so much closer to me, it's funny how knowing the sex of the baby can do that. With this baby, he or she is still an "it" to us. It just feels like I'm not entirely connected to it yet, like the baby is such a big mystery still (and it is)... but see, there I go with the whole "it" thing. My baby is an it!
My mom and son want me to find out, my sister, father and husband prefer to wait. I was thinking of just finding out and keeping it to myself, not telling ANYONE. But would I regret it? Ahhhh... I don't know which to choose.
My question to you is: did you / would you wait, or find out early? I'm still undecided, and probably will be undecided all throughout my appointment. Arggh!