World In My Eyes: Baby Stuff

I am now just over 20 weeks pregnant (I think). I'm not positive because I did not record the date of my LMP and every time I have an ultrasound, the dates keep jumping back and forth between March 25th and April 5th. I'm "approximately" 20 weeks now, so they say.

Two weeks ago I had an ultrasound because I was in a car accident. I was on my way to pick up Elijah from school and was going through an intersection on a green light, doing about 40km/hr. A woman from the opposite direction was making a left turn, and turned into my path right while I was going through the intersection. I nailed her pretty good with my car.

It was so, so scary. The first thing I felt was this crunch on my right knee, I think it hit somewhere hard under the steering wheel. The next thing I remember was hearing a lound BANG while the air bags deployed, and let me tell you that those things might look like soft pillows, but ouch, they actually gave me bruises.

The car filled with smoke and that was my sign to get the heck out of my car, so I tried to open my door. Because of the way the cars hit each other, the alignment of my car was thrown off and I couldn't open my door. It took a couple of big hard shoves from my shoulder, until finally I could escape, but wouldn't you know it, I couldn't walk. My knee was hurting bad and I was in terrible shock. The one and only thing that I could think of was my baby.

There were some people who came to my aid. This one man was so great, he actually picked me up and carried me off the road and onto a patch of grass. Someone called the police, and a few minutes later a fire truck, ambulance and police cruiser arrived at the scene.

I went to the hospital and had an ultrasound, which showed that the baby was healthy and happy, rolling around in the protective sac. The placenta wasn't affected, and his (or her) heartbeat was really strong. I suffered bruises on my hands, chest and knee, and still today I have some back/shoulder pain. The woman driver was charged with making an improper turn, and my car was written off as unrepairable. We were given the settlement check this week for the car, and I'm considering starting some kind of treatment for my back (although I'm not sure what my limitations are while being pregnant).

I feel very fortunate that our little baby survived this ordeal. It just shows how quickly, in one little instant and because of one little mistake, your life can change. I'm still scared to drive, especially through that particular intersection. Mark has been driving Elijah in the morning but every afternoon I have to take that same route to the school. I wonder if I'll ever get over this fear?

Last week I received news that a friend of mine (with a baby due date of three days before me) went into early labour and delivered a son. The little boy whom they named Peter was much too young to survive outside his mama, and he passed away. It is just so tragic, and I really wept for her. This is her third baby into heaven.

So many friends of ours are having troubles conceiving. I have this one friend who has been trying for about 5 years now, and is now unfortunately exploring IVF (I say unfortunately only because it is against my Catholic beliefs). Her and her husband have wanted a child for so long, and they would be the most excellent parents. I pray for them every night, I really do, but I wonder why God would deny them this privilege?

Mark and I were blessed in the very first month of trying, and even after two months of bleeding episodes, severe cramping and this car accident, our baby is healthy and growing beautifully. Why are we so fortunate? Why are so many of our friends suffering, while we are given this beautiful blessing?

And just when I thought that I had it bad, when I was feeling sorry for myself for being in a car accident, or having pregnancy complications, I am reminded of others whose suffering is so much more deeper and painful than mine. I don't have it bad, my life was not complicated or negatively affected. I really feel terrible for always making such a huge deal of the little things. I can usually find negativity in any situation, but I need God to ground me and remind me of how very fortunate I am in my life right now.

I don't know all the answers. I only know what I was taught: that there is always a purpose in our struggles. I think about my friends daily, and pray for positive outcomes. And you can be sure that every single day I thank God for my blessings. I have wanted this baby ever since my last one was born, and even though it took a little bit of a long journey to get back to this point, I couldn't rejoice more in this experience.

Praise God!

(ps - before I conclude, thank you Erika for bringing me such awesome news about DM! Wow!).

Comments

Thank you for thinking of me Jill. I imagine it must have been hard to hear of my loss knowing you and I were so close in pregnancy weeks. I'm really happy to hear your baby is ok after your car accident. That must have been very traumatic for you. I've been in a serious accident (not pregnant) and it was difficult enough without having to worry about a child. Don't question why you're fortunate, just enjoy it. You too have been through much difficulty and deserve every happiness.

Posted by: Cherie Nymeyer | Friday, November 07, 2008 at 01:45 PM